


Raise A Glass to Group Chats

by FlameFox345



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, F/M, I'm so sorry, M/M, Pure Crack, Texting, chat fic, chat room
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8471764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlameFox345/pseuds/FlameFox345
Summary: Have you gotten tired of the group chat fics?No you haven't, here's another!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Group chat name: Sin Squad  
> Participants: turtleygay(John), betterthanyou (Angelica), FrenchBread (Lafayette), AlabamaHammerMan (Alexander), Sewingmachine (Hercules), butteryshoe (Peggy), Theooo (Theodosia), TPoof (Thomas), Airguitar (Aaron), Mariuh (Maria), Betterthanwho? (Eliza), WebMD (James)

turtleygay: Since we're all on summer break and can't see each other in person, I made this, be proud.

AlabamaHammerMan: fuckin genius

Turtleygay: thnks

FrenchBread: YAY! I GET TO TALK TO YOU GUYS STILL

Airguitar: Laf, we live with other

FrenchBread: shut your whore mouth

Sewingmachine: snort

Turtleygay: hey Herc

Sewingmachine: Hey Turtle

AlabamaHammerMan: f u, thats my nickname for him

Sewingmachine: i thought your nickname for him was like baby girl or something kinky like that

AlabamaHammerMan: hun no, we arent kinky. you know whos kinky? you and laf

FrenchBread: I can read these you know

Airguitar: John remove me

Betterthanyou: If im here you have to suffer with me

Theooo: the fuck have i walked into

Airguitar: Glad you could join us Theo

Turtleygay: hey bitch

Theooo: fuck you

Turtleygay: nah

Turtleygay: anyway, hi guys, how is everyones break going

FrenchBread: Burr and I are doing good, we're over in Florida. And while Aaron refuses to do anything fun, I am going swimming later

Airguitar: Since when did you actually type well

FrenchBread: ;)

Sewingmachine: Well, I with Theo visiting Peggy

Theooo: Yeah, I'm still jetlagged like hell

Butteryshoe: I was in the shower waht is going on

Turtleygay: death

Butteryshoe: okay thats normal

TPoof: Well im in kentucky

Airguitar: when did you get here

TPoof: I will slit your throat and watch as your own blood drains onto my pretty little carpet floor :)

FrenchBread: o_o

WebMD: This is off to a great start

TPoof: as i was saying, Im visiting family in Kentucky

Mariuh: Eliza and I are in Utah, but shes out so she wont be repllying for a while

AlabamaHammerMan: Im in Canada visitng a friend

Betterthanyou: And John and I are stuck in our dorms becuase we suck

Turtleygay: fun

TPoof: Well i gotta go, talk to yall later?

Turtleygay: Thomas, youre country is showing

TPoof: fuck you

Turtleygay: buy me dinner first

WebMD: Chances are he's coming to yell at me, bye

Betterthanyou: bye good luck

Betterthanyou: Did everyone leave already the fuck

Turtleygay: Im here

Betterthanyou: I see you every day, i dont care if youre here

Turtleygay: rude

AlabamaHammerMan: do you guys ever stop fighting?

Betterthanyou: no

FrenchBread: No

AlabamaHammerMan: Laf what

FrenchBread: Herc and I are practically attached to John, they never stop fighting  
a few weeks ago they started yelling at each other over who coudk get the last poptart

Butteryshoe: hey that is a good reason for a fight

Mariuh: no it isnt

Butteryshoe: I would stab Theo for a poptart right now

Theooo: I'm right here

Betterthanwho?: Uh, hi guys?

Turtleygay: Heyo

AlabamaHammerMan: Hai

Airguitar: You're late

FrenchBread: Be nice

Mariuh: Hey

Betterthanwho?: Where's Thomas and James? I see them in the participants list

Turtleygay: i think they went out to do something idk

Sewingmachine: im back, srory

Turtleygay: hell again

Turtleygay *hello

Turtleygay: eh same thing

AlabamaHammerMan: youre a force of nature

Turtleygay: Ill take that as a compliment

FrenchBread: Well, imma go swim, and Im tkakjng burrs phone so he wont yell at you guys

Sewingmachine: thanks Laf you the PVP

Sewingmachine: *MVP

Turtleygay: same thing

Mariuh: sigh

Airguitar: you bitch, dont take my phone

Turtleygay: and that aolves that problem

Airguitar left the group

Turtleygay: the fuck

FrenchBread: Did he really

FrenchBread: ugh i dont care

betterthanwho?: Im concerned for the siblings in this group

betterthanyou: hello, im your fuckingmsister

betterthanwho?: shhh

TPoof: Im more concerned for the couples

Turtleygay: welcome back Thomas

TPoof: hello hello

TPoof: I saw that Burr left so i thoguht it was a good time for me to come back

Betterthanwho?: Hey

TPoof: oh hey Eliza, how has your day been

Betterthanwho?: Pretty good, I guess

Turtleygay: Hey guys, Angie os currently dancing alrund the hall in her underwear since we're the only ones here.

TPoof: Any news that isn't old?

Turtleygay: I've tried to kill you once, I'll do it again ho

WebMD: Can you not?

WebMD: Kinda my boyfriend?

Turtleygay: I'll kill u 2

AlabamaHammerMan: Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty, calm down

Turtleygay: Excuse you, I will slaughter u

AlabamaHammerMan: Hun I am six times stronger than you don't threaten me

Betterthanyou: *eating popcorn*

Turtleygay: don't

AlabamaHammerMan: be

Turtleygay: fucking

AlabamaHammerMan: rude

Theooo: that was creepy, are you guys always that creepy?

AlabamaHammerMan: kinda

Betterthanyou: once when Alex was visiting us in our dorm, John opened his mouth and Alex just said got it and pulled a thing of tic tacs out of his pocket it was terrifying

Mariuh: didn't John omce say that he was going to ditch Alex and date a tic tac

AlabamaHammerMan: I'm not surprised honestly

Betterthanwho?: Maria you can't say anything, I'm pretty sure you left me in the blistering heat so you could stop the ice cream truck

Butteryshoe: I remember thwt actually, and it wasn't even a package of tic tacs, it was one singular tic tac

Betterthanyou: when we were little, he used to wake up in the middle of the night and steal my pencils

Turtleygay: Angie no

Betterthanyou: just so he could like chew on them

Turtleygay: you have betrayed me

Betterthanyou: fuck you fuck you fuck you very very much

Betterthanyou: You ate my pencils

Turtleygay: They were tasty

FrenchBread: I know what else is tasty to you John

Turtleygay: don't

AlabamaHammerMan: this dick

FrenchBread: poptarts

FrenchBread: ...the hell Alex?

AlabamaHammerMan: oops

Sewingmachine: ohhhh say can you see by the dawns early light

Mariuh: what so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming

Butteryshoe: who's broad stripes and bring stars through the perilous fight

Theooo: oer the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming

TPoof: and the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air

Betterthanyou: gave proof through the night that our flag was still there

WebMD: oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave

Turtleygay: per the land of the free and the home of the brave

AlabamaHammerMan: OH CANADA

AlabamaHammerMan has been removed from the group by Sewingmachine

Turtleygay: Herc what the hell?

AlabamaHammerMan has been added to the group by Turtleygay

AlabamaHammerMan: I feel very betrayed

Sewingmachine: Ammurica only

AlabamaHammerMan: well bye

FrenchBread: well bye

Airguitar has been added to the group by FrenchBread

Airguitar: Well bye

Airguitar has been removed from the group by FrenchBread

Butteryshoe: Well bye

Theooo: Well bye

Betterthanwho?: Well bye

WebMD: Well bye

Sewingmachine: oh

Turtleygay: yeah

Betterthanyou: Herc, John, me, Maria, and Thomas are the only ones born and raised in America...

Sewingmachine: welp

Sewingmachine: did everyone actuslly leave?

Theooo: no? I'm kinda bored since Peggy is being lazy and you're in the other room

Sewingmachine: f u

Theooo: buy me dinner first

Turtleygay: excuse you

AlabamaHammerMan: ooooooooo

Betterthanyou: oh Lordy

Turtleygay: cite me, didn't you learn that in English class?

Theooo: oh sorry, one sec

Theooo: "Buy me dinner first." Dollens, John. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Theooo: better?

Turtleygay: very

FrenchBread: I'm crying this is hilarious

Sewingmachine: i caNT BREATHE

AlabamaHammerMan: oh my god you actually cited him

Betterthanyou: beautiful

Turtleygay: you guys have more issues than fights I've started

TPoof: wow that's harsh

Turtleygay: okay fuck you Thomas

TPoof: "Buy me dinner first." Dollens, John. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Butteryshoe: I just heard Theo laugh really loud and then there was a loud thump and the laughing stopped

Betterthanwho?: is she Okayama?

Mariuh: what the fuck eliza

Betterthanwho?: that was autocorrect

TPoof: why do you even have Okayama in your phone?

Betterthanwho?: idk

Turtleygay: oh Lordy

Turtleygay: oh wait sorry one sec

Turtleygay: "Oh Lordy." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Betterthanyou: thnks bro

Sewingmachine: Theo is having a seizure

Sewingmachine: I only hear laughter

Sewingmachine: I am scared

Theooo: I. ANT BRETHQE

FrenchBread: anyway how are you guys

AlabamaHammerMan: well I'm o gay

Sewingmachine: same Alex

AlabamaHammerMan: that was not what I meant to say

Turtleygay: Michael's gay gay gay he likes long big cock he is super super gay he likes long big cock

TPoof: HAH

Butteryshoe: did you just make that up John

Turtleygay: no it's a YouTube video of Stalin

Theooo: "Oh Lordy." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Sewingmachine: StopTheo2k16

Butteryshoe: where can I sign

FrenchBread: I approve

Sewingmachine: everyone in favor of the StopTheo2k16 movement say I

FrenchBread: I

TPoof: I

Butteryshoe: I

AlabamaHammerMan: I

Betterthanyou: I

WebMD: I

Turtleygay: I

Betterthanwho?: I

Mariuh: I

Airguitar has been added to the group by FrenchBread

Airguitar: I

Airguitar has been removed from the group by FrenchBread

Theooo: I

Sewingmachine: Theo this is a petition against you why are you agreeing

Theooo: because o agree I should be stopped

Turtleygay: seems legit

AlabamaHammerMan: never say that again

Turtleygay: why

AlabamaHammerMan: cause it was bad

TPoof: I'm going to bed I hate you all

Turtleygay: luv u too

WebMD: well he's gonna yell at me too bye

Sewingmachine: basil

Sewingmachine: *bai

Theooo: bye

Butteryshoe: that was beautiful

Butteryshoe: basil

Sewingmachine: cite me

AlabamaHammerMan: oh god I'm leaving

Butteryshoe: "Basil." Mulligan, Hercules. Sin Squad. San Diego: Peggy's House, 2016. Text.

Sewingmachine: thanks bye

Turtleygay: lonely I'm mr lonely I have nobody to call my ownnnnnn

Betterthanyou: I'm here

Turtleygay: "I see you everyday, I don't care if you're here." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Mariuh: get rekt

Betterthanyou: shots fired

Betterthanwho?: GO TO SLEEP ALL OF YOU

Turtleygay: WERE IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONES

Betterthanwho?: oh yeah

FrenchBread: I hate you all with a burning passion

AlabamaHammerMan: I'm not sleepy help

Turtleygay: hi

AlabamaHammerMan: Heyo

Turtleygay: are we the only ones here?

AlabamaHammerMan: I think why?

Turtleygay: if no one other than Alex replies we will start sexting

AlabamaHammerMan: hell yeah

FrenchBread: Read 8:42 AM ✔️

Sewingmachine: I wanna see this go on

Turtleygay: you replied so no

AlabamaHammerMan: John text me we can do it privately

Turtleygay: yea

FrenchBread: AHHHHHHHH

Theooo: rip me

AlabamaHammerMan: go away

Theooo: I am going to kms

Butteryshoe: oh god don't do that

FrenchBread: please don t

Turtleygay: bye guys a and I are busy

Theooo: RIP ME

TPoof: I WANNA SEE

TPoof: SEND ME PICTURES BBY

Turtleygay: you are disgusting

TPoof: I have no shame

WebMD: it left when he met me

Theooo: and I'm done

Theooo: goodbye

TPoof: night

WebMD: nigthle

Butteryshoe: bai

Theooo: bye

Sewingmachine: basil

AlabamaHammerMan: are they gone

Turtleygay: ye

AlabamaHammerMan: k text me

Turtleygay: kk


	2. Chapter 2

Betterthanyou: I didn't hear John masturbating in his riom all night so hopefully they didn't actually sext

Turtleygay: just because you didn't hear didn't mean it didn't happen

AlabamaHammerMan: yeah sorry Angie

AlabamaHammerMan: actuslly no I'm not sorry

Betterthanwho?: what's going on?

Betterthanyou: hide your innocent eyes Eliza

Mariuh: innocent? Eliza? I laugh

Betterthanwho?: shhhhhhhHhHHHHHH

Turtleygay: I walked in on them one time

AlabamaHammerMan: continue

FrenchBread: I am intrigued

Betterthanyou: yes please elaborate

Turtleygay: I was at Maria's house, trying to be sneaky and replace Maria's conditioner with hair dye

Mariuh: THAT WAS YOU

Turtleygay: and I was walking to the bathroom, which is by the kitchen, and there they were

Betterthanwho?: John pls no

AlabamaHammerMan: John pls yes

Turtleygay: Eliza was sitting up on the counter, and Maria was between her legs

FrenchBread: and we're done

TPoof: No please continue

Mariuh: John no

AlabamaHammerMan: John yes

Turtleygay: and Eliza was like pulling on her hair and it was actually kinda hot

Betterthanwho?: Why

Betterthanyou: do I need to kink shame you John

Turtleygay: no

FrenchBread: yes

TPoof: yes

WebMD: yes

Mariuh: yes

Betterthanwho?: yes

Theooo: yes

Sewingmachine: yes

Butteryshoe: yes

Airguitar has been added to the group by FrenchBread

Airguitar: yes

Airguitar has been removed from the group by FrenchBread

Betterthanyou: he likes being dominated like hell he's so submissive

Alex: okay stop

AlabamaHammerMan: I know this

Betterthanwho?: and we're done

Betterthanyou: but

Betterthanwho?: NO

Betterthanyou: fine

Sewingmachine: um

Sewingmachine: I think Theo just fell down the stairs

Turtleygay: WHAT?!

AlabamaHammerMan: is she okay?

Theooo: I'm finee

Butteryshoe: she's okay

Sewingmachine: did you actually fall down the stairs?

Butteryshoe: she did a majestic penguin John slide

Turtleygay: that was one time

AlabamaHammerMan: explain?

TPoof: it was in high school, we were going down the stairs, and then John liked yelped and he was suddenly penguin sliding down the stairs. He ended up getting hurt but it was funny during the three seconds he was sliding.

AlabamaHammerMan: beautiful

Turtleygay: I hate you all

WebMD: you love us

Turtleygay: yeah

Turtleygay: By the way, do any of you wanna go with me to a rally happening later in the summer? I was invited to speak for poverty induced community, and I really liked to have a few familiar faces in the crowd.

Betterthanwho?: sorry John but after the last rally we went to, I don't think I can handle it again

Mariuh: I don't know John, the last rally kinda ruined it for me

Theooo: I'm game

Butteryshoe: I am too

Sewingmachine: me too

AlabamaHammerMan: I'll always go with you

Betterthanyou: I have to make sure you aren't killed

FrenchBread: I'm going to visit Washington in the hospital one week in the summer. Do you know which day it is?

Turtleygay: I think it's July 6th, they asked me to be there around noon

FrenchBread: sorry bb,I'm busy

TPoof: James and I are free

WebMD: no we aren't

TPoof: shhHHHHHhhh

WebMD: Oh god, I don't wanna go I ran into a tree last time

AlabamaHammerMan: HAHAHAHAHA

AlabamaHammerMan: PLEASE EXPLAIN

Turtleygay: oh this is a good story go on

FrenchBread: Okay, so it was our first time meeting James, and he and Thomas weren't dating yet, and I guess he wanted to make a good first impression.

Turtleygay: So, he saw me basically getting strangled by this guy, and he wanted to be seen as 'big and bad', so he literally ran head first towards the guy strangling me.

TPoof: But then the guy moved, and James just kept going.

WebMD: I ran into a tree

AlabamaHammerMan: HAH

WebMD: I came here to have a good time, and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

TPoof: you love us

WebMD: no I hate you guys

FrenchBread: f u

WebMD: "Buy me dinner first." Dollens, John. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Turtleygay: beautiful

TPoof: is that a thing now

Sewingmachine: yep

betterthanwho?: I started choking

WebMD: On Maria's dick?

WebMD: wait

FrenchBread: wow

TPoof: not everyone here is straight

AlabamaHammerMan: Theo and burr are literally the only ones that are straight

Betterthanyou: ahem

Turtleygay: angie don't lie

Betterthanyou: the fuck are you talking about?

Turtleygay: I caught you with Dolly

AlabamaHammerMan: damn

Theooo: shots fired

Betterthanyou: CITE ME

Theooo: "shots fired." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Betterthanyou: thnks

Turtleygay: are you gonna even deny you and Dolley?

Betterthanyou: no

Doll has been added to the group by Betterthanyou

Betterthanyou: hey Dolley didn't we kiss once?

Doll: yeah why

Turtleygay: see

AlabamaHammerMan: oh wow

FrenchBread: oh okay

Butteryshoe: "Oh Lordy." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Betterthanyou: k agree

Doll: Can I stay in here, it seems lit

Turtleygay: Never say that again I will walk to your house and personally snap your neck

Doll: I live three miles away come at me you little bitch

Betterthanyou: Things are getting a little wild at Calliou's house

FrenchBread: why is everyone here a living meme

Butteryshoe: We're friends with you

Turtleygay: "shots fired" Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

AlabamaHammerMan: hey guys look what I can do

AlabamaHammerMan changed Turtleygay's nickname to FuckNugget™

FuckNugget™: What the hell

FuckNugget™ changed their nickname to Turtleygay

FrenchBread: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

FrenchBread: I WANNA DO IT

FrenchBread changed Sewingmachine's nickname to PussyMagnet

PussyMagnet: LAFAYETTE WHAT THE FUCK

PussyMagnet changed their nickname to Sewingmachine

Sewingmachine: STOP

Theooo changed Butteryshoe's nickname to TheRightSideoftheTriangle

Turtleygay: Is that a polyamory joke

Theooo: yes

TheRightSidepftheTriangle: BITCH I AM THE TIP OF THE TRIANGLES

Math has been added to the group by Theooo

Theooo: Martha, who's the tip of the poly triangle, you or Peggy

Math: I am

TheRightSideoftheTriangle: oh

TheRightSideoftheTriangle changed their nickname to Butteryshoe

AlabamaHammerMan: this chat is a mess

FrenchBread: "Things are getting a little wild at Calliou's house." Schuyler, Angelica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

Abradacabra: why am I friends with you guys

AlabamaHammerMan: because you love us

Betterthanyou: ew

Theooo: ^

Butteryshoe: ^

FrenchBread: ^

Doll: ^

Sewingmachine: ^

Math: ^

TPoof: ^

WebMD: ^

Betterthanwho?: ^

Mariuh: ^

AlabamaHammerMan: OKAY I GET IT EVERYONE HERE HATES ME

Turtleygay: I don't

AlabamaHammerMan: you're my boyfriend you can't hate me

TPoof: nah we love us

TPoof: *u

WebMD: That was intentional and you know it Thomas

TPoof: fuck u

Turtleygay: buy me dinner first

TPoof: okay

AlabamaHammerMan: ????

Turtleygay: I don't wanna know

WebMD: does anyone have Popsicles

Theooo: James I'm in another state

WebMD: oh yeah

TPoof changed WebMD's nickname to DickFingers

DickFingers: I'm gonna keep it like this

Turtleygay: noooooooo

Turtleygay changed DickFinger's nickname to WebMD

TPoof changed WebMD's nickname to TreeWanker

Turtleygay changed TreeWanker's nickname to WebMD

TPoof changed WebMD's nickname to noodle

Turtleygay changed noodle's nickname to ULTIMATEnoodle

TPoof: me too

TPoof changed ULTIMATEnoodle's nickname to WebMD

TheKing has been added to the group chat by Turtleygay

Turtleygay: OH MY GID NO I MESSED UP OH MY GOD KILL ME PLEASE

TheKing: what the hell is this

Turtleygay: AAAAAAA I DIDNT MEAN TO ADD YOU OLEASE LEAVE

AlabamaHammerMan: Oh look it's the little bitch

TheKing: Fuck you Hamilton

TheKing has been removed from the chat by TPoof

Turtleygay: thanks Thomas

AlabamaHammerMan: why do you still even have his contact?

Turtleygay: he's in my debate group, we have to be partners some time

AlabamaHammerMan: mm

Turtleygay: mm

AlabamaHammerMan: I'm no longer mad thanks for that

Math: confused

Doll: me too Martha

Turtleygay: There's a pizza man at my dorm?

Turtleygay: I didn't order pizza??

Turtleygay: He said it's free???

Turtleygay: Someone else paid for it????

TPoof: you're welcome

Turtleygay: ?????

TPoof: I bought you dinner

FrenchBread: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Theooo: -HAHAHA

AlabamaHammerMan: I CNAT BRTWAHE

Betterthanyou: wait cna I have some John

Turtleygay: no the fuck its mine

Betterthanyou: I'll fight you for it

Math: hot

Math: wait you were raised together

Theooo: uh Martha

Math: I didn't mean to say that

Doll: do we need to have a tlak Martha

Math: no I didn't mean to say that I say that all the time

Turtleygay: SHE STOLE MY UFKCING PIZZA

Turtleygay: YOU BITCH

Turtleygay: nevermind it's mine again

AlabamaHammerMan: alright then

Turtleygay: damn this is some good pizza

TPoof: damn this is some good dick

AlabamaHammerMan: nO

FrenchBread: AAAAAAAAAA

Butteryshoe: LEAVE

Turtleygay: THOMAS NO

WebMD: ;;;;;)

butteryshoe: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW

Math changed butteryshoe's nickname to ButYouLikeMyDick

Sewingmachine: MARTHA

ButYouLikeMyDick: NO OH ,Y GOD

ButYouLikeMyDick changed their nickname to butteryshoe

Betterthanyou: I'm having chest problems

Turtleygay: I'm having roommate problems

Betterthanyou: I hate you

Turtleygay: I hate you too

Math: "Things are getting a little wild at Calliou's house." Schuyler, Aneglica. Sin Squad. New York City: King's College, 2016. Text.

AlabamaHammerMan: Martha get out

Math: okay

Math left the group

Theooo: MY EDUCATION NOOOOO

Turtleygay: HAHAHAHAHA

AlabamaHammerMan: NO

FrenchBread: OHM Y GOD

Butteryshoe: NOOOOOO

 


End file.
